My Father’s Garden: Wagon Wheel by R J Dent

 

1: Tyre

 

– Some gardens have a wagon wheel in them, my mother said.

          – What for? my father asked.

          – For decoration. It leans against the house wall as a decorative feature.

          – I see. Well, I might be able to get hold of one for you, my father said.

          – Oh, good. That’d be nice.

          My father’s first attempt was a dismal failure; he brought home a huge tractor tyre.

          It was taller than he was.

          My father rolled it into the front garden and leaned it against the house wall. It loomed there gigantically as he went to find my mother.

          – Oh, no, that’s not right, my mother said, on being shown the tyre.

          – Is it not? my father asked, clearly surprised.

          – Well, it’s not a wagon wheel, is it?

          – It’s very similar.

          – Not really. Wagon wheels are made of wood or metal and have spokes. This is a spoke-free rubber monstrosity. It needs to go. Read more…

My Father’s Garden: Wagon Wheel

Copyright © R J Dent (2014)

 

Other stories from My Father’s Garden by R J Dent can be found at:

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My Father’s Garden: Metal by R J Dent

 

1: Statues

– What this garden needs is a couple of statues, my father said one day.

     He was standing in the back garden, looking at his horticultural empire. My mother was sitting on the garden bench, drinking a cup of tea and skim-reading a newspaper.

     – That’s a good idea, she said. Let’s go to the garden centre and see what they’ve got.

     My father cleared his throat and shuffled his feet.

     – I was thinking more along the lines of making them myself.

     My mother’s smile faded.

     – Oh.

     My father took this as encouragement. Read more…

Other stories from My Father’s Garden by R J Dent are available to read at:

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James Acaster – stand-up comedian

James Acaster is a very funny English stand-up comedian.

His comedy is light and whimsical, but it also addresses serious issues.

James began performing stand-up comedy in January 2008.

James took his first full solo show Amongst Other Things to the Edinburgh festival in 2011.

In 2012 he took his second solo show Prompt to the Edinburgh festival where it was nominated for Best Comedy Show at the Foster’s Comedy Awards.

In 2013 he performed at the New Zealand International Comedy Festival where his show was nominated for Best International Show.

In 2013 he took his third solo show Lawnmower to the Edinburgh festival where it was nominated for Best Comedy Show at the Foster’s Comedy Awards.

James Acaster has appeared on the following shows:

Never Mind the Buzzcocks:

Russell Howards Good News (BBC Three):

Dave’s One Night Stand (Dave):

and Chris Addison’s Show and Tell (E4).

He has his own Radio 4 series James Acaster’s Findings and regularly features on The Josh Widdicombe Show on XFM.

James Acaster is from Kettering in Northamptonshire, and he can play the drums.

James Acaster’s website: www.jamesacaster.com

James Acaster on twitter: https://twitter.com/JamesAcaster

James Acaster on facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/JamesAcasterComedian

James Acaster on Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Acaster